Am I flying or falling?
Have you ever had that moment in your life where you feel like all the pieces are finally coming together? Well, a couple of months ago I had that feeling… Things just started happening! I had received an award at the Houses of Parliament for my success within my job, I moved up to a new role and good things just kept happening! I remember thinking FINALLY all my hard work is paying off!
But there’s another side to this story…
I would come home bragging about my success… I wanted my mom to tell me she was so proud and happy for me… and that was not the response I got. Instead, my mom was upset, heartbroken, and struggling… I could see that in her.
I later found out she wasn’t angry or jealous but she was grieving a loss of a lifestyle she once had...
But I was selfish and inconsiderate only thinking about myself. I was angry. Thinking “she’s my mother”, “she should be proud and happy for me”! So this made things at home pretty uncomfortable… I was over the moon excelling and the more success the more heartbroken she became.
So what happened?
I had called my sponsor raging my disappointment in my mother of course.
That’s when my reality check came.
“Calliese where is your gratitude?”
“You have forgotten all your mother has done for you”
She said, “when you were out running the streets what was she doing?”
That sank in and kinda hurt. I had forgotten all that she’s done for me… I had forgotten that she put her career, marriage, and life on the back burner to raise my son when I wasn’t there. I forgot that she was really successful and accomplishing her goals and dreams until she chose to put my son and I before that.
After my reality check I realized how selfish I had been and inconsiderate of her feelings and struggles… I was doing what she should have been doing… but she wasn’t because she put us first.
After that my thinking started to change.. I started to have empathy and compassion for mom and I wanted to support her to reach the success she wanted.
We started to actually have deeper conversations and set goals. We agreed to support each other and give each other the time and space to make those accomplishments.
This situation was VERY uncomfortable but it taught me a HUGE life lesson and I will never forget this. But also remember how mentioned at the beginning everything was going perfectly?
That was very temporary… I went from all that to now where I’ve been struggling with my mental health and have been on sick from work for 2 plus months…
However, due to this and Covid-19, I haven’t been able to get much access to support so my family and I have had to do this together.
And what this looks like: - Walking daily and getting my family to hold me accountable to this - Spending time with my mom supporting her on projects she’s working on which has forced me to participate in online learning - Reading new books - Step out of my comfort zone to engage with people online - I have started sewing and painting - I have had to find hope and inspiration in new ways
So if you think your life can’t change in 3-6 months it DEFINITELY can. As a result, I am in a MUCH better place today!
Have you found hope and inspiration in crazy ways!? Please share them with me on our Facebook page❤️
P.S. The picture attached is my sunflower mural I’ve started in our backyard!