Recovery in Turbulent Times
By Naetha Uren
Recovery in turbulent times provides hope.
With hindsight I can see the many life lessons, connections and opportunities that appeared even though I was going through the most trying and difficult times. I can now apply these lessons in order to contribute to our family recovery and provide hope to others. Upon reflection, I am able to see the resilience, kindness, humility and empathy I found when I took the time to find and focus on gratitude. I can truly discover the gifts of recovery in so many moments, conversations and situations that before I only thought were turbulent times.
Lifetime friendships formed during recovery in turbulent times.
In the most unexpected rooms and places I met an eclectic mix of extremely remarkable and diverse people. Reaching out for help, as I feared for my family, my daughter and my grandson; I was filled with sadness, hopelessness and utter despair. I found a plain beige hallway, filled with plain brown doors, with lots of plain beige rooms; one of these rooms was filled with a circle of brown plastic chairs, this room changed my life. There I found a group of parents, partners and friends who embraced me, supported me, cried with me and loved me; they gave me hope that we would survive. They understood and helped me realise I was not alone in these turbulent times
A family and a child’s future forever changed, due to recovery in turbulent times. It’s not a situation you plan for or really can prepare for; no one imagines or contemplates they may have to look after a grandchild until the crisis arises. In recovery or not, this was a turbulent time. I saw the hearts and souls of people in a way I had never seen before. Yes, a few turned away, however those close to me “stepped up to the plate.” I knew we could not walk away, a conscious decision to create a safe, secure, calm home for a child was made. Looking back, I did not realise in those early days of family recovery, bonds for a lifetime were being made; hearts, homes and lives were becoming intertwined. Although I had found contentment prior to the arrival of a toddler in our daily life, a little boy brought gifts I never anticipated. He filled our lives with love, he gave our lives a new clarity and focus along with some much-needed distractions and giggles in the months (then years) of chaos, drama and sadness.
Families can be restored; recovery is possible during the most turbulent of times.
Substance use, metal health and domestic violence rained down like a horrendous thunder storm. The problems got more serious, the bills got bigger, solving these issues or enabling was no longer an option. Darkness clouded ever part of our lives, even though thousands of miles separated us, my mother’s intuition was screaming at me. The pain she was feeling, I felt in my heart; abusive boyfriends, the drama, the fear she would die. The rehabs, the pleading, the enabling, the broken boundaries, the pain, the shame, the guilt and grief. The dreams I watched die, the unspoken expectations that I had to disregard; the plans for the future we wanted to live, all changed in the blink of an eye.
A mother daughter bond lost in the storm; a family broken. Yet, somehow, we were able to rebuild, repair and create a multi-generational home filled with a family in recovery following those turbulent times.
With all the challenges in our lives today that we are facing to our health, economy, personal living situations, mental health, values, morals and beliefs; the gifts of recovery in today’s turbulent times are priceless. I have taken time to pause, to breathe, to stop the noise and listen to myself and our family. I don’t know what tomorrow brings, yet for all the tomorrows I have, I am going to be grateful. Each day I want to do work I love, that sets my soul on fire; be with my family and focus on finding joy and happiness. Acceptance, Gratitude and Hope were the gifts I received when my daughter was drowning in a sea of substance use and despair; these along with humility, honesty, advocacy and service are the gifts I can share in recovery during these turbulent times.
You can find hope with recovery in turbulent times.
Copyright © 2021, Recovery Coach Academy
Written by Naetha Uren